Absolute destruction. Each and every action led her further down a darker path. Even though it was so unknown and so frightening the possibilities still excited her. In a way she couldn’t describe. Like the butterflies you get for a third grade crush.
She didn’t even go looking for trouble but it often seemed to find her. Yet she didn’t protect herself from it. She pushed away the warning signs and did things that gave her a reputation. She completely ignored any instinct to protect herself.
The chance of breaking down was what moved her, kept her blood flowing. Any emotional response to her tendency to destroy her life.